nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
