I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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