Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
