I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
