I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
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