I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
