What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
