This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
