well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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