ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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