Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I am full of burrito and curiosity
why do cheetos always look like penises
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
