R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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