I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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