how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
