I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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