You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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