I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
