she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize