I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
