everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
