Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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