Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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