We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
