this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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