maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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