Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
