Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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