so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
