i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
