im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
