Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
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I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
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I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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