i just google imaged poop.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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