I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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