I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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