You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
