Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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