To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We need to feng shui this bitch.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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