she smelled like a LAN party
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
