I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
