I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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