I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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