Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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