I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
