Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
