Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
