remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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