finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
