that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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