You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
handjob tips. give me some.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
As shirtless as possible
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I had to cum in my sink.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
