I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize