I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
