You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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