if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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