but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
