forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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