Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
