turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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