News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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