you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
