we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
