Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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