NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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