I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize