I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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