Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
