we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
