they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
